A pushy romeo asked a gorgeous elevator operator, "Don't all these stops and starts get you pretty worn out ?" "It isn't the stops and starts that get on my nerves, it's the jerks."
Four gays in the bar and only one stool What do they do? Turn it over !!
Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons? A: From dating blonde men
Q: What's the difference between light and hard? A: You can go to sleep with a light on
Santa, "I am suffering with loose motions. Doctor, "Have yiu tried lemon Santa, "Yes I have but when I remove it, they continue.
Heaven is when you have beautiful girls and barrels of beer. Hell is when you discover that the barrels have holes and the girls don't
A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl. She was immediately receptive to his foreplay after they parked. The petting increased and he put his hand in her panties. She seemed to be enjoying his progress, but suddenly objected, "Ouch! That ring is hurting me!" "That's no ring! That's my wristwatch."
Secret of long life... Morning 2 eggs Evening 2 pegs and Night 2 legs
Woman, "Slow down, foreplay is an art." Man, "Well, if you don't get your canvas arranged soon, I'm going to spill my paint!"
Q: What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common ? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen
Q: What's the difference between pulling a curtain and a panty? A: When you pull a curtain, it means that the show is over, but pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME
A boy was so jealous of his new born brother that he put poison on the nipple of his mom while she was asleep now comes the sad part- the next day their driver died
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony ? A: Its not hard
Q: What is worse than a dead dog on your piano ? A: A diseased pussy on your organ
Q: What's the dofferemce between meat and fish? A: If you beat your fish, it'll die
Q: What do you call an adolescent rabbit ? A: A pubic hair.
Q: A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex? A: He replied, "Depends, if I can find a phone."
It was a wise old botanist who pointed out that a penis is the only thing that has to be grown before it is planted
Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence. Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'
Q: What is it that goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and wet ? A: Chewing gum
Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk
It's in the mixture: He offered her a scotch and soda, she declined. Then he offered her ascotch and sofa, she reclined
Q: What's the biggest tragedy in the movie Sholay? A: Well, first of all the Thakur's wife dies & then to make matter worse Gabbar cut off Thakur's hand
Santa with big tummy goes for a walk in his vest and lungi. A gal jokingly asks Santa, "For how much is this big tank?" Santa lifts hi lungi and says, "With the tap, its for 450"
Q: What's the difference between light and hard? A: You can sleep with a light on
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and out number them?"
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: (looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy
Q: Why do bald men have holes in their pants pockets ? A: So they can run their fingers through their hair
Some gals beg and some gals borrow, some gals lead and some gals follow, some brings joy and some bring sorrow, but best of all are girls that swallow
A prostitute goes to a Bank to deposit a 1000 rupee note. The teller says,'Sorry Madam, the note is a fake. 'Oh my God! exclaimed the prostitute,'I have been raped.'
Banta asks his wife, "Tell me a joke in which im not involved? Preeto, "I'm pregnant!!"
A lady was scolding her maid 4 her inefficiency. Angry maid: Atleast I'm better than youu in the bed. Lady(amazed): And my husband told u this ? Maid: No, the driver
Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman? A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass
Boy to girl: Darling, what is rape? Girl: It's the wrong man at the right place
An older couple is ready to go to sleep, so the old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies on the floor. The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?" The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change"
Q: What arte the 3 words men hate to hear during sex? A: Are U done? Q: What are the 3 words women hate to hear during sex? A: Honey, I am home
Santa was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he noticed a tiny little spot on the wall that seemed to be moving. He called it to the bartender's attention. He glanced at it and said, "It's a ladybug." After a moment of stunned silence Santa, "Good Lord, what incredible eyesight you have!"
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and a guitar ? A. You play at the top and finger the bottom...
The Doctor because he says; "Take your clothes off" The Dentist because he says; "Open wide" The Milkman because he says; "Do you want it in the front or the back" The Hairdresser because he says; "Do you want it teased or blown" The Interior Decorator because he says; "Once it's in, you'll love it" The Banker because he says; "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'I told you he was stupid'