Santa's keep dies. Her husband is calm but Santa furiously moans her death. Her husband finally consoles Santa. "Don't worry, I'll marry again"
What similar things would you want in your coffee and girl friend? Should be hot Should be rich Should be creamy Should be able to keep you awake all night!
Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised? Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day!!
Santa giving speech to deaf people, rubs chest, touches groin and starts masturbating. When asked, he said, "It means ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..."
Q: What is the difference between a child and an egg? A: Egg is an a result of a sitting hen, child is a result of a standing cock
Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction? A: Ao teabag
Q: Who is a gynaecolgist ? A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure
Q: What's the dofferemce between meat and fish? A: If you beat your fish, it'll die
Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb". "No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month"
Patient: "Doc, you gotta help me. I'm under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people." Doctor: "Tell me about your problem." Patient: "I just did, you fucking jackass"
On the first day, in a kingdergarden, the young Miss introduced herself and was teaching the kids how to remember her name. "Now, listen, my name is Prussy- it is pussy with an R in it." Next day, she asked one of the kids whether he remembered her name. The boy replied "Yes, madam, your name is Crunt!"
A man, being in a bad mood, said to his wife, "Why do you bother wearing a bra? You don't have anything to put in it!?" His wife wryly replied, "Well, you wear briefs, don't you?"
Q: Why can't blondes water-ski ? A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down
Q: What's the difference between pulling a curtain and a panty? A: When you pull a curtain, it means that the show is over, but pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME
Q: How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex? A: He marks the camels that kick
Three prostitutes all hate life, decided to kill themselves. The 1st one goes to a 50 feet tall cliff and jumps off. She lands on the concrete, and it took weeks to clean her mess up. The 2nd one jumps from a 100 feet tall building, and lands on a car. It took months to clean her up. The 3rd one jumps from a plane 120 feet in the air, and she lands on a lamppost. It took her years to wipe the smile off her face
These 3 gay guys are sitting in a hot tub and a condom floats to the top. One of the gay guys says to the others "who farted?"
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer ? A: The joystick is wet
Banta: Was your wife a virgin when you married? Santa: I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no
Q: What's the ultimate in rejection ? A: When you're masturbating, your hand falls asleep
It's in the mixture: He offered her a scotch and soda, she declined. Then he offered her ascotch and sofa, she reclined
A lady accidentally got her vibrator stuck deepinside of her. Doctor: "To remove that vibrator I have to perform a very long and delicate operation." Lady: "I don't think I could afford an operation right now, could you just replace the batteries for a nominal fee ?"
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.
Q: Why was Iraq war like anal sex? A: It was an invasion you couldn't see. It was painful without oil. No way did you see Bush at the front
Condoms say to Whisper: When you work, my business is in loss for four days. Whisper replies: If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months
Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman? A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass
American men say: Women are like cigar, throw them and they are finish French say: They are like wine glass, break them and they are finish Punjabi say: They are like cassettes, turn to side B and side A finishes
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'I told you he was stupid'
Yesterday's news- A nun jogging at the park was raped. Today's news- Hundreds of nuns are jogging at the park!!
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? A: Their balls are just for decoration
Woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, ?
Depends on what?s in it for me.?
Q: What do a condom and a coffin have in common? A: They're both filled with stiffs - except one's coming and one's going
Q: Did you hear about the air conditioned whore house? A: It had the blowers on the second floor
Q: What's the definition of macho? A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy
A man tells his friends that his 5 year old son is very badmash (naughty), because he made our housemaid pregnant..! Ask how? Badmash punctured all my condoms with pin
Ever wonder why your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
Three chinese Bu, Chu and Fu went to USA. They decided to americanize their names. Bu became Buck, Chu became Chuck, Fu decided to back to China.
Prostitute: doc, my hole is too big. Doctor looks into the hole & says GOD...
GOD...
GOD... Prostitute: Why are you repeating the word God? Doctor: It was an ECHO!
Girls don't bunk classes because they know missing periods means PREGNANCY
Girl to Mom: when I see the neighbour's son, my bra tightens. Mom: Next time, don't wear the bra, his pant would tighten